友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
次次小说 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

苔斯-第6章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



ted to talk and rearrange their hair. When the baby had finished Tess played with him without showing much enthusiasm. Then suddenly she kissed him again and again,as if she could not stop.The baby cried out at the violence of her kisses.

‘She loves that child,though she says she hates him and wishes they were both dead,’said one of the women,watching the young mother.

‘She'll soon stop saying that,’replied another.‘She'll get used to it.It happens to lots of girls.’.

‘Well, it wasn't her fault. She was forced into it that night in The Chase. People heard her sobbing. A certain gentleman might have been punished if somebody had passed by and seen them.’

‘It was a pity it happened to her,the prettiest in the village.But that's how it happens!The ugly ones are as safe as houses,aren't they, Jenny?’and the speaker turned to one who was certainly not beautiful.

Tess sat there,unaware of their conversation. Her mouth was like a flower, and her eyes were large and soft, sometimes black,blue or grey, sometimes all three colours together. She had spent months regretting her experience and crying over it, but suddenly decided that the past was the past.In a few years her shame,and she herself,would be forgotten. Meanwhile the trees were just as green, and the sun shone just as brightly,as before.Life went on.

She most feared what people thought of her, and imagined that they talked constantly about her behind her back.In fact she was not often discussed,and even her friends only thought about her occasionally. Other things of more importance took up their time.If there had been no people around her,Tess would not have made herself so unhappy. She would have accepted the situation as it was.She was miserable,not because she felt unhappy,but because she imagined herself rejected by society.

Now she wanted to be useful again, and to work. So she dressed neatly,and helped in the harvest,and looked people calmly in the face,even when holding her baby in her arms.

Having eaten her lunch quickly, Tess went back to work with the harvesters in the cornfield until it was dark.They all came home on one of the largest waggons,singing and laughing together.

But when Tess reached home, she discovered that the baby had fallen ill that afternoon.He was so small and weak that illness was to be expected,but this still came as a shock to Tess.She forgot the shame surrounding his birth, and only wished passionately to keep him alive.However,it became clear that he was dying.Now Tess had a greater problem. Her baby had not been baptized.

Her ideas on religion were not very developed. She had more or less accepted that she would go to hell for her crime,and did not much care what would happen to her after death. But fo her baby it was different. He was dying,and must be saved from hell.

It was nearly bedtime, but she rushed downstairs and asked if she could send for the parson. Her father had just returned from the public house, and was at his most sensitive to the shame brought upon his noble name by Tess.He refused to allow the parson in, and locked the door.

The family went to sleep.As the night passed, Tess realized,in great misery,that the baby was close to death. She walked feverishly up and down the room,until an idea came to her.

‘Ah!Perhaps baby can be saved!Perhaps it will be just the same!’

She lit a candle,and woke her young brothers and sisters. Having poured some water into a bowl,she made them kneel around,with their hands together as in church.The children were hardly awake and watched Tess with big round eyes.

She looked tall in her long white nightdress, her long dark hair hanging down her back to her waist. Her enthusiasm lit up her face, giving it a beautiful purity—the face which had caused her shame.

She picked up the baby. One of the children asked,‘Are you really going to baptize him, Tess? What's his name going to be?’

She had not thought of that, but remembered the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible.Because they did wrong together, God said they would live in sorrow for the rest of their lives.

She said firmly,‘SORROW,I baptize you in the name of the Father,and of the Son,and of the Holy Ghost.’

She splashed some water on the child,and there was silence.

‘Say Amen,children.’

‘Amen,’they replied.

Tess put her hand into the water,and drew a huge cross upon the baby with her finger. She continued the service in the well-known words, asking for the baby to be protected against the world and against wickedness. Her belief gave her hope;her sweet warm voice rang out the thanks that follow the baptism.The single candle was reflected in her shining eyes like a diamond.The children asked no more questions,but looked up at her in amazement.She seemed almost like a god to them.

Poor Sorrow's fight against the world and wickedness was a short one, fortunately perhaps,taking into account his situation. In the blue light of the morning he breathed his last. Tess had been calm since the baptism and she remained calm. She was no longer worried about Sorrow's afterlife.If God did not accept the baptism,she did not value His Heaven,either for herself or for her child.

Tess thought a good deal about the baptism, however, and wondered if it might mean that Sorrow could be buried in the churchyard,with a church service. She went to the parson's house after dark, and met him near his gate.

‘I should like to ask you something,sir.My baby was very ill,and I wanted you to baptize him, but my father refused to allow it.So I baptized him myself.Now sir, can you tell me this,’and she looked him straight in the eyes,‘ will it be just the same for him as if you had baptized him?’

The parson wanted to say no. She had done what should have been his job.But the girl's strong feeling impressed him. The man and the parson fought inside him, and the man won.

‘My dear girl,’he said,‘it will be just the same.’

‘Then will you bury him in the churchyard?’ she asked quickly.

The parson felt trapped. It was a difficult question to answer.‘Ah,that's a different matter,’he said.‘1'm sorry,I cannot.’

‘Oh sir!’She took his hand as she spoke.

He took it away,shaking his head.

‘Then I'll never come to church again!’she cried.‘But perhaps it will be the same for him? Tell me, have pity on me, poor me,tell me what you really think!’

The parson was deeply touched by her emotion. For a surprising moment he forgot the strict rules of his church.

‘It will be just the same,’he answered kindly.

So the baby was carried in a cheap wooden box to the churchyard at nignt.There is a corner of the churchyard where the grass grows long,and where the suicides,drunks, unbaptized babies and other supposed criminals are laid. Sorrow was buried here,at the cost of a shilling and a pint of beer for the gravedigger.Tess bravely made a little cross and put it at the head of the grave one evening,when she could enter the churchyard without being seen.

It is all very well saying that we learn from experience. Tess had certainly learnt from experience,but could not see how to use her knowledge,so painfully gained.

So she stayed in her parents’ home during the winter, helping to look after the children, making clothes for them and earning a little money whenever she could.Important dates came round again:the night of her shame in The Chase,the baby's birth and death, her own birthday. One day when she was looking at her pretty face in the mirror,she thought of another date,even more important—her own death. When it came it would swallow up all her prettiness and everything that had happened to her.When was it?It was a day lying hidden among all the other days of the year, so that she noticed nothing when it came round,and did not know what week, month,season or year it would be.

In a flash Tess changed from simple girl to complicated woman.Her face was often thoughtful,and there was sometimes a tragic note in her voice.Her eyes grew lar
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!