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delivered against ill…humour。〃 〃That may do very well for your town clergymen，
〃 said he ： 〃country people are never ill…humoured ； though ， indeed，
it might be useful， occasionally ， to my wife for instance， and the
judge。〃 We all laughed， as did he likewise very cordially， till he fell
into a fit of coughing， which interrupted our conversation for a time。
Herr Schmidt resumed the subject。 〃You call ill humour a crime，〃 he remarked，
〃but I think you use too strong a term。〃 〃Not at all，〃 I replied ， 〃if
that deserves the name which is so pernicious to ourselves and our neighbours。
Is it not enough that we want the power to make one another happy ， must
we deprive each other of the pleasure which we can all make for ourselves？
Show me the man who has the courage to hide his ill…humour， who bears
the whole burden himself， without disturbing the peace of those around
him。 No ： ill…humour arises from an inward consciousness of our own want
of merit， from a discontent which ever acpanies that envy which foolish
vanity engenders。 We see people happy ， whom we have not made so ， and
cannot endure the sight。〃 Charlotte looked at me with a smile ； she observed
the emotion with which I spoke： and a tear in the eyes of Frederica stimulated
me to proceed。 〃Woe unto those，〃 I said， 〃who use their power over a
human heart to destroy the simple pleasures it would naturally enjoy！
All the favours ， all the attentions ， in the world cannot pensate
for the loss of that happiness which a cruel tyranny has destroyed。〃 My
heart was full as I spoke。 A recollection of many things which had happened
pressed upon my mind， and filled my eyes with tears。 〃We should daily
repeat to ourselves ，〃 I exclaimed ， 〃that we should not interfere with
our friends ， unless to leave them in possession of their own joys ，
and increase their happiness by sharing it with them！ But when their
souls are tormented by a violent passion， or their hearts rent with grief，
is it in your power to afford them the slightest consolation？
〃And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely grave
you have prepared ， when she lies languid and exhausted before you ，
her dim eyes raised to heaven ， and the damp of death upon her pallid
brow， there you stand at her bedside like a condemned criminal ， with
the bitter feeling that your whole fortune could not save her ； and the
agonising thought wrings you， that all your efforts are powerless to
impart even a moment's strength to the departing soul ， or quicken her
with a transitory consolation。〃
At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had been
once present fell with full force upon my heart。 I buried my face in my
handkerchief， and hastened from the room ， and was only recalled to
my recollection by Charlotte's voice， who reminded me that it was time
to return home。 With what tenderness she chid me on the way for the too
eager interest I took in everything ！ She declared it would do me injury，
and that I ought to spare myself。 Yes ， my angel ！ I will do so for
your sake。
JULY 6。 She is still with her dying friend， and is still the same
bright， beautiful creature whose presence softens pain ， and sheds happiness
around whichever way she turns。 She went out yesterday with her little
sisters ： I knew it， and went to meet them； and we walked together。
In about an hour and a half we returned to the town。 We stopped at the
spring I am so fond of， and which is now a thousand times dearer to me
than ever。 Charlotte seated herself upon the low wall ， and we gathered
about her。 I looked around， and recalled the time when my heart was unoccupied
and free。 〃Dear fountain！〃 I said， 〃since that time I have no more e
to enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream： I have passed thee with careless
steps ， and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee。〃 I looked down ， and
observed Charlotte's little sister， Jane ， ing up the steps with
a glass of water。 I turned toward Charlotte ， and I felt her influence
over me。 Jane at the moment approached with the glass。 Her sister ， Marianne，
wished to take it from her。 〃No ！〃 cried the child ， with the sweetest
expression of face， 〃Charlotte must drink first。〃
The affection and simplicity with which this was uttered so charmed
me， that I sought to express my feelings by catching up the child and
kissing her heartily。 She was frightened， and began to cry。 〃You should
not do that ，〃 said Charlotte： I felt perplexed。 〃e， Jane ，〃 she
continued ， taking her hand， and leading her down the steps again ，
〃it is no matter： wash yourself quickly in the fresh water。〃 I stood
and watched them； and when I saw the little dear rubbing her cheeks with
her wet hands ， in full belief that all the impurities contracted from
my ugly beard would be washed off by the miraculous water ， and how，
though Charlotte said it would do ， she continued still to wash with
all her might ， as though she thought too much were better than too little，
I assure you， Wilhelm， I never attended a baptism with greater reverence
； and， when Charlotte came up from the well ， I could have prostrated
myself as before the prophet of an Eastern nation。
In the evening I would not resist telling the story to a person who，
I thought ， possessed some natural feeling ， because he was a man of
understanding。 But what a mistake I made。 He maintained it was very wrong
of Charlotte， that we should not deceive children， that such things
occasioned countless mistakes and superstitions ， from which we were
bound to protect the young。 It occurred to me then， that this very man
had been baptised only a week before； so I said nothing further， but
maintained the justice of my own convictions。 We should deal with children
as God deals with us， we are happiest under the influence of innocent
delusions。
JULY 8。 What a child is man that he should be so solicitous about
a look！ What a child is man！ We had been to Walheim ： the ladies went
in a carriage ； but during our walk I thought I saw in Charlotte's dark
eyes—— I am a fool—— but forgive me ！ you should see them，—— those
eyes。 —— However， to be brief（for my own eyes are weighed down with
sleep ）， you must know， when the ladies stepped into their carriage
again ， young W。 Seldstadt ， Andran ， and I were standing about the
door。 They are a merry set of fellows ， and they were all laughing and
joking together。 I watched Charlotte's eyes。 They wandered from one to
the other ； but they did not light on me ， on me， who stood there motionless，
and who saw nothing but her ！ My heart bade her a thousand times adieu，
but she noticed me not。 The carriage drove off； and my eyes filled with
tears。 I looked after her ： suddenly I saw Charlotte's bonnet leaning
out of the window ， and she turned to look back， was it at me ？ My
dear friend ， I know not ； and in this uncertainty I find consolation。
Perhaps she turned to look at me。 Perhaps ！ Good…night —— what a child
I am！
JULY lO。 You should see how foolish I look in pany when her name
is mentioned， particularly when I am asked plainly how I like her。 How
I like her！ I detest the phrase。 What sort of creature must he be who
merely liked Charlotte， whose whole heart and senses were not entirely
absorbed by her。 Like her ！ Some one asked me lately how I liked Ossian。
JULY 11。 Madame M —— is very ill。 I pray for her recovery ， because
Charlotte shares my sufferings。 I see her occasionally at my friend's
house ， and to…day she has told me the strangest circumstance。 Old M
—— is a covetous， miserly fellow ， who has long worried and annoyed
the poor lady sadly ； but she has borne her afflictions patiently。 A
few days ago， when the physician informed us that her recovery was hopeless，
she sent for her husband（Charlotte was present ）， and addressed him
thus： 〃I have something to confess ， which， after my decease ， may
occasion trouble and confusion。 I have hitherto conducted your household
as frugally and economically as possible， but you must pardon me for