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the contrast makes us more keenly susceptible , or rather perhaps because
our senses are then more open to impressions, and the shock is consequently
stronger。 To this cause I must ascribe the fright and shrieks of the ladies。
One sagaciously sat down in a corner with her back to the window, and
held her fingers to her ears; a second knelt down before her , and hid
her face in her lap ; a third threw herself between them , and embraced
her sister with a thousand tears; some insisted on going home; others,
unconscious of their actions, wanted sufficient presence of mind to repress
the impertinence of their young partners, who sought to direct to themselves
those sighs which the lips of our agitated beauties intended for heaven。
Some of the gentlemen had gone down…stairs to smoke a quiet cigar , and
the rest of the pany gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess
to retire into another room which was provided with shutters and curtains。
We had hardly got there , when Charlotte placed the chairs in a circle
; and, when the pany had sat down in pliance with her request ,
she forthwith proposed a round game。
I noticed some of the pany prepare their mouths and draw themselves
up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit。 〃Let us play at counting,
〃 said Charlotte。 〃Now, pay attention: I shall go round the circle from
right to left ; and each person is to count, one after the other, the
number that es to him, and must count fast; whoever stops or mistakes
is to have a box on the ear , and so on, till we have counted a thousand。〃
It was delightful to see the fun。 She went round the circle with upraised
arm。 〃One ,〃 said the first; 〃two ,〃 the second; 〃three ,〃 the third
; and so on, till Charlotte went faster and faster。 One made a mistake,
instantly a box on the ear; and, amid the laughter that ensued, came
another box ; and so on, faster and faster。 I myself came in for two。
I fancied they were harder than the rest, and felt quite delighted。 A
general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before we had
counted as far as a thousand。 The party broke up into little separate
knots : the storm had ceased , and I followed Charlotte into the ballroom。
On the way she said , 〃The game banished their fears of the storm。〃 I
could make no reply。 〃I myself,〃 she continued , 〃was as much frightened
as any of them; but by affecting courage , to keep up the spirits of
the others, I forgot my apprehensions。〃 We went to the window。 It was
still thundering at a distance: a soft rain was pouring down over the
country , and filled the air around us with delicious odours。 Charlotte
leaned forward on her arm ; her eyes wandered over the scene ; she raised
them to the sky , and then turned them upon me ; they were moistened
with tears; she placed her hand on mine and said , 〃Klopstock !〃 at
once I remembered the magnificent ode which was in her thoughts : I felt
oppressed with the weight of my sensations, and sank under them。 It was
more than I could bear。 I bent over her hand, kissed it in a stream of
delicious tears , and again looked up to her eyes。 Divine Klopstock!
why didst thou not see thy apotheosis in those eyes ? And thy name so
often profaned, would that I never heard it repeated !
JUNE 19。 I no longer remember where I stopped in my narrative : I
only know it was two in the morning when I went to bed; and if you had
been with me, that I might have talked instead of writing to you , I
should, in all probability , have kept you up till daylight。
I think I have not yet related what happened as we rode home from
the ball, nor have I time to tell you now。 It was a most magnificent
sunrise : the whole country was refreshed, and the rain fell drop by
drop from the trees in the forest。 Our panions were asleep。 Charlotte
asked me if I did not wish to sleep also, and begged of me not to make
any ceremony on her account。 Looking steadfastly at her , I answered ,
〃As long as I see those eyes open , there is no fear of my falling asleep。〃
We both continued awake till we reached her door。 The maid opened it softly,
and assured her , in answer to her inquiries , that her father and the
children were well, and still sleeping。 I left her asking permission
to visit her in the course of the day。 She consented, and I went , and,
since that time , sun, moon , and stars may pursue their course: I
know not whether it is day or night ; the whole world is nothing to me。
JUNE 21。 My days are as happy as those reserved by God for his elect
; and, whatever be my fate hereafter, I can never say that I have not
tasted joy,—— the purest joy of life。 You know Walheim。 I am now pletely
settled there。 In that spot I am only half a league from Charlotte; and
there I enjoy myself, and taste all the pleasure which can fall to the
lot of man。
Little did I imagine, when I selected Walheim for my pedestrian excursions,
that all heaven lay so near it。 How often in my wanderings from the hillside
or from the meadows across the river, have I beheld this hunting…lodge,
which now contains within it all the joy of my heart!
I have often, my dear Wilhelm, reflected on the eagerness men feel
to wander and make new discoveries, and upon that secret impulse which
afterward inclines them to return to their narrow circle, conform to
the laws of custom, and embarrass themselves no longer with what passes
around them。
It is so strange how, when I came here first , and gazed upon that
lovely valley from the hillside , I felt charmed with the entire scene
surrounding me。 The little wood opposite—— how delightful to sit under
its shade ! How fine the view from that point of rock! Then , that
delightful chain of hills , and the exquisite valleys at their feet!
Could I but wander and lose myself amongst them ! I went , and returned
without finding what I wished。 Distance , my friend, is like futurity。
A dim vastness is spread before our souls : the perceptions of our mind
are as obscure as those of our vision ; and we desire earnestly to surrender
up our whole being, that it may be filled with the plete and perfect
bliss of one glorious emotion。 But alas ! when we have attained our object,
when the distant there bees the present here , all is changed : we
are as poor and circumscribed as ever , and our souls still languish
for unattainable happiness。
So does the restless traveller pant for his native soil , and find
in his own cottage, in the arms of his wife, in the affections of his
children, and in the labour necessary for their support, that happiness
which he had sought in vain through the wide world。
When, in the morning at sunrise, I go out to Walheim, and with
my own hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for my
dinner, when I sit down to shell them, and read my Homer during the
intervals , and then , selecting a saucepan from the kitchen, fetch
my own butter , put my mess on the fire, cover it up, and sit down
to stir it as occasion requires , I figure to myself the illustrious
suitors of Penelope , killing, dressing , and preparing their own oxen
and swine。 Nothing fills me with a more pure and genuine sense of happiness
than those traits of patriarchal life which , thank Heaven ! I can imitate
without affectation。 Happy is it, indeed , for me that my heart is capable
of feeling the same simple and innocent pleasure as the peasant whose
table is covered with food of his own rearing , and who not only enjoys
his meal, but remembers with delight the happy days and sunny mornings
when he planted it, the soft evenings when he watered it , and the pleasure
he experienced in watching its daily growth。
JUNE 29。 The day before yesterday , the physician came from the town
to pay a visit to the judge。 He found me on the floor playing with Charlotte's
children。 Some of them were scrambling over me, and others romped with
me; and, as I caught and tickled them , they made a great noise。 The
doctor is a formal sort of personage: he adjusts the pl