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Miss B——）； till at length the count came up to me ， and took me to
the window。 〃You know our ridiculous customs，〃 he said。 〃I perceive the
pany is rather displeased at your being here。 I would not on any account
——〃 〃I beg your excellency's pardon ！〃 I exclaimed。 〃I ought to have
thought of this before， but I know you will forgive this little inattention。
I was going ，〃 I added ， 〃some time ago ， but my evil genius detained
me。〃 And I smiled and bowed ， to take my leave。 He shook me by the hand，
in a manner which expressed everything。 I hastened at once from the illustrious
assembly， sprang into a carriage ， and drove to M ——。 I contemplated
the setting sun from the top of the hill， and read that beautiful passage
in Homer， where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen。 This
was indeed delightful。 I returned home to supper in the evening。 But few
persons were assembled in the room。 They had turned up a corner of the
table…cloth ， and were playing at dice。 The good…natured A —— came
in。 He laid down his hat when he saw me ， approached me， and said in
a low tone， 〃You have met with a disagreeable adventure。〃 〃I ！〃 I exclaimed。
〃The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly！〃 〃Deuce take the
assembly！〃 said I。 〃I was very glad to be gone。〃 〃I am delighted ，〃
he added， 〃that you take it so lightly。 I am only sorry that it is already
so much spoken of。〃 The circumstance then began to pain me。 I fancied
that every one who sat down ， and even looked at me， was thinking of
this incident ； and my heart became embittered。
And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom ， when I hear myself
everywhere pitied ， and observe the triumph of my enemies， who say that
this is always the case with vain persons ， whose heads are turned with
conceit ， who affect to despise forms and such petty ， idle nonsense。
Say what you will of fortitude， but show me the man who can patiently
endure the laughter of fools， when they have obtained an advantage over
him。 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can
suffer it without plaint。
MARCH 16。 Everything conspires against me。 I met Miss B —— walking
to…day。 I could not help joining her； and， when we were at a little
distance from her panions， I expressed my sense of her altered manner
toward me。 〃O Werther ！〃 she said， in a tone of emotion ， 〃you ， who
know my heart ， how could you so ill interpret my distress ？ What did
I not suffer for you， from the moment you entered the room ！ I foresaw
it all， a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning it to you。 I
knew that the S ——s and T ——s ， with their husbands， would quit
the room， rather than remain in your pany。 I knew that the count would
not break with them ： and now so much is said about it。〃 〃How！〃 I exclaimed，
and endeavoured to conceal my emotion ； for all that Adelin had mentioned
to me yesterday recurred to me painfully at that moment。 〃Oh， how much
it has already cost me！〃 said this amiable girl， while her eyes filled
with tears。 I could scarcely contain myself ， and was ready to throw
myself at her feet。 〃Explain yourself ！〃 I cried。 Tears flowed down her
cheeks。 I became quite frantic。 She wiped them away ， without attempting
to conceal them。 〃You know my aunt，〃 she continued ； 〃she was present
： and in what light does she consider the affair ！ Last night ， and
this morning， Werther， I was pelled to listen to a lecture upon my，
acquaintance with you。 I have been obliged to hear you condemned and depreciated
； and I could not—— I dared not—— say much in your defence。〃
Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart。 She did not feel
what a mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me。 She told
me， in addition， all the impertinence that would be further circulated，
and how the malicious would triumph ； how they would rejoice over the
punishment of my pride， over my humiliation for that want of esteem for
others with which I had often been reproached。 To hear all this ， Wilhelm，
uttered by her in a voice of the most sincere sympathy， awakened all
my passions ； and I am still in a state of extreme excitement。 I wish
I could find a man to jeer me about this event。 I would sacrifice him
to my resentment。 The sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to
my fury。 A hundred times have I seized a dagger ， to give ease to this
oppressed heart。 Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively
open a vein with their teeth， when heated and exhausted by a long course，
in order to breathe more freely。 I am often tempted to open a vein， to
procure for myself everlasting liberty。
MARCH 24。 I have tendered my resignation to the court。 I hope it will
be accepted ， and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted
you。 It is necessary I should leave this place。 I know all you will urge
me to stay， and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother。
I am unable to do anything for myself ： how， then ， should I be petent
to assist others？ It will afflict her that I should have interrupted
that career which would have made me first a privy councillor ， and then
minister， and that I should look behind me ， in place of advancing。
Argue as you will ， bine all the reasons which should have induced
me to remain， I am going ： that is sufficient。 But， that you may not
be ignorant of my destination ， I may mention that the Prince of ——
is here。 He is much pleased with my pany ； and， having heard of my
intention to resign ， he has invited me to his country house ， to pass
the spring months with him。 I shall be left pletely my own master；
and ， as we agree on all subjects but one， I shall try my fortune ，
and acpany him。
APRIL l9。 Thanks for both your letters。 I delayed my reply， and withheld
this letter ， till I should obtain an answer from the court。 I feared
my mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose。 But my request
is granted， my resignation is accepted。 I shall not recount with what
reluctance it was accorded， nor relate what the minister has written
： you would only renew your lamentations。 The crown prince has sent me
a present of five and twenty ducats ； and， indeed ， such goodness has
affected me to tears。 For this reason I shall not require from my mother
the money for which I lately applied。
MAY 5。 I leave this place to…morrow ； and， as my native place is
only six miles from the high road ， I intend to visit it once more ，
and recall the happy dreams of my childhood。 I shall enter at the same
gate through which I came with my mother， when ， after my father's death，
she left that delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy
town。 Adieu ， my dear friend ： you shall hear of my future career。
MAY 9。 I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion
of a pilgrim， and have experienced many unexpected emotions。 Near the
great elm tree， which is a quarter of a league from the village， I got
out of the carriage ， and sent it on before， that alone ， and on foot，
I might enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections。
I stood there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object
of my walks。 How things have since changed！ Then ， in happy ignorance，
I sighed for a world I did not know ， where I hoped to find every pleasure
and enjoyment which my heart could desire ； and now， on my return from
that wide world ， O my friend， how many disappointed hopes and unsuccessful
plans have I brought back ！
As I contemplated the mountains which lay stretched out before me ，
I thought how often they had been the object of my dearest desires。 Here
used I to sit for hours together with my eyes bent upon them， ardently
longing to wander in the shade of those woods ， to lose myself in those
valleys ， which form so delightful an object in the distance。 With what
reluctance did I leave this charming spot ； when my hour of recreation
was over， and my leave of absence expired！ I drew near to the village
： all the well…known old summerhou