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She put down her bag in the center of the hateful room。
‘Ma；’ she said； ‘I’m going。 I’m a…going this morning。’
Now that she had said it； she was angry with herself for not having said it the night before；so that they would have had time to be finished with their weeping and their arguments。 She hadnot trusted herself to withstand the night before； but now there was almost no time t。 The center of her mind was filled with the image of the great； white clock at the railway station； on which thehands did not cease to move。
‘You going where？’ her mother asked sharply。 But she knew that her mother hadunderstood； had indeed long before this moment known that this time would e。 Theastonishment with which she stared at Florence’s bag was not altogether astonishment； but astartled； wary attention。 A danger imagined had bee present and real； and her mother wasalready searching for a way to break Florence’s will。 All this Florence knew in a moment； and itmade her stronger。 She watched her mother； waiting。
But at the tone of his mother’s voice Gabriel； who had scarcely heard Florence’sannouncement； so grateful had he been that something had occurred to distract from him hismother’s attention； dropped his eyes and saw Florence’s traveling…bag。 And he repeated hismother’s question in a stunned； angry voice； understanding it only as the words hit the air：
‘Yes； girl。 Where you think you going？’
‘I’m going； she said； ‘to New York。 I got my ticket。’
And her mother watched her。 For a moment no one said a word。 Then； Gabriel； in achanged and frightened voice； asked：
‘And when you done decide that？’
She did not look at him； nor answer his question。 She continued to watch her mother。 ‘I gotmy ticket；’ she repeated。 ‘I’m going on the morning train。’
‘Girl；’ asked her mother； quietly； ‘is you sure you know what you’s doing？’
She stiffened。 seeing in her mother’s eyes a mocking pity。 ‘I’m a woman grown；’ she said。
‘I know what I’m doing。’
‘And you going；’ cried Gabriel； ‘this morning—just like that？ And you going to walk offand leave your mother—just like that？’
‘You hush；’ she said； turning to him for the first time； ‘she got you； ain’t she？’
This was indeed； she realized as he dropped his eyes； the bitter； troubling point。 He couldnot endure the thought of being left alone with his mother； with nothing whatever to put betweenhimself and his guilty love。 With Florence gone； time would have swallowed up all his mother’schildren； except himself； and he； then； must make amends for all the pain that she had borne； andsweeten her last moments with all his proofs of love。 And his mother required of him one proofonly； that he tarry no longer in sin。 With Florence gone； his stammering time； his playing time；contracted with a bound to the sparest interrogative second； when he must stiffen himself； andanswer to his mother； and all the host of Heaven； yes or no。
Florence smiled inwardly a small； malicious smile； watching his slow bafflement； andpanic； and rage： and she looked at her mother again。 ‘She got you；’ she repeated。 ‘She don’t needme。’
‘You going north；’ her mother said； then。 ‘And when you reckon on ing back？’
‘I don’t reckon on ing back；’ she said。
‘You e crying back soon enough；’ said Gabriel； with malevolence； ‘soon as they whipyour butt up there four or five times。’
She looked at him again。 ‘Just don’t you try to hold your breath till then； you hear？’
‘Girl；’ said her mother； ‘you mean to tell me the Devil’s done made your heart so hard youcan just leave your mother on her dying bed； and you don’t care if you don’t never see her in thisworld no more？ Honey； you can’t tell me you done got so evil as all that？’
She felt Gabriel watching her to see how she would take this question—the question that；for all her determination； she had dreaded most to hear。 She looked away from her mother； andstraightened； catching her breath； looking outwards through the small； cracked window。 Thereoutside； beyond the slowly rising mist； and farther off that her eyes could see； her life awaited her。
The woman on the bed was old； her life was fading as the mist rose。 She thought of her mother asalready in the grave； and she would not let herself be strangled by the hands of the dead。
‘I’m going； Ma；’ she said。 ‘I got to go。’
Her mother leaned back； face upward to the light and began to cry。 Gabriel moved toFlorence’s side and grabbed her arm。 She looked up into his face and saw that his eyes were full oftears。
‘You can’t go；’ he said。 ‘You can’t go。 You can’t go and leave your mother thisaway。 Sheneed a woman； Florence； to help look after her。 What she going to do here； all alone with me？’
She pushed him from her and moved to stand over her mother’s bed。
‘Ma；’ she said； ‘don’t be like that。 Ain’t a thing can happen to me up North can’t happen tome here。 God’s everywhere； Ma。 Ain’t no need to worry。’
She knew that she was mouthing words； and she realized suddenly that her mother scornedto dignify these words with her attention。 She had granted Florence the victory—with apromptness that had the effect of making Florence； however dimly and unwillingly； wonder if hervictory was real。 She was not weeping for her daughter’s future； she was weeping for the past； andweeping in an anguish in which Florence had no part。 And all of this filled Florence with terriblefear； which； which was immediately transformed into anger。 ‘Gabriel can take care of you；’ shesaid； her voice shaking with malice。 ‘Gabriel ain’t never going to leave you。 Is you； boy？’ and shelooked at him。 He stood； stupid with bewilderment and grief； a few inches from the bed。 ‘But me；’
she said； ‘I got to go。’ She walked to the center of the room again； and picked up her bag。
‘Girl；’ Gabriel whispered； ‘ain’t you got feelings at all？’
‘Lord！’ her mother cried； and at the sound her heart turned over； she and Gabriel； arrested；stared at the bed。 ‘Lord； Lord； Lord！ Lord； have mercy on my sinful daughter！ Stretch out yourhand and hold her back from the lake that burns forever！ Oh； my Lord； my Lord！’ and her voicedropped； and broke； and tears ran down her face。 ‘Lord； I done my best with all the children whatyou give me。 Lord； have mercy on my children； and my children’s children。’
‘Florence；’ said Gabriel； ‘please don’t go。 You ain’t really fixing to go and leave her likethis？’
Tears stood suddenly in her own eyes； though she could not have said what she was cryingfor。 ‘Leave me be；’ she said to Gabriel； and picked up her bag again。 She opened the door； thecold； morning air came in。 ‘Good…bye。’ she said。 And then to Gabriel： ‘Tell her I said good…bye。’
She walked through the cabin door and down the short steps into the frosty yard。 Gabriel watchedher； standing frozen between the door and the weeping bed。 Then； as her hand was on the gate； heran before her； and slammed the gate shut。
‘Girl； where you going？ What you doing？ You reckon on finding some men up North todress you in pearls and diamonds？’
Violently； she opened the gate and moved out into the road。 He watched her with his jawhanging； and his lips loose and wet。 ‘If you ever see me again；’ she said； ‘I won’t be wearing ragslike yours。’
All over the church there was only the sound； more awful than the deepest silence； of the prayersof the saints of God。 Only the yellow； moaning light shone above them； making their faces gleamlike muddy gold。 Their faces； and their attitudes； and their many voices rising as one voice madeJohn think of the deepest valley； the longest night； of Peter and Paul in the dungeon cell； onepraying while the other sang； or of endless； depthless； swelling water； and no dry land in sight； thetrue believer clinging to a spar。 And； thinking of to…morrow； when the church would rise up；singing； under the booming Sunday light； he thought of the light for which they tarried； which； inan instant； filled the soul； causing （throughout those iron…dark； unimaginable ages before John hade into the world） the new…born in Christ